a tale of two cities
“has that place in the cloisters become an echo chamber for multiple timelines where I made the same choice?”
showers
‘my god how I wished to be part of the cemetery he was building. I would have turned myself into a black hole, letting all that is me fall away into that void, only to be rebuilt by him in whatever form he wanted’
to be a tree
‘the trees outside the window weren’t just green and brown, they were purple round the edges, and orange, merging with the blue of the sky like a watercolour’
black fabric
‘am I here now because I’ve got anxiety or depression or I’m a bad adult that can’t cope with ‘real jobs’ or
am I here because, at the end of the day, I just simply like it?’
the lost flat
“….For some reason today I wasn’t to be the lucky one. (The reality was that many, if not most, times in my life I had been the lucky one)….”
winter in whitstable
“….. fearing if I show him or them or it, what I need, there won’t be anything there for me, that my desire will manifest as a white expanse of nothingness with me in the centre…”