a tale of two cities
“has that place in the cloisters become an echo chamber for multiple timelines where I made the same choice?”
showers
‘my god how I wished to be part of the cemetery he was building. I would have turned myself into a black hole, letting all that is me fall away into that void, only to be rebuilt by him in whatever form he wanted’
hot
‘I always thought summer was happening to me, but recently I have come to realise that summer has been happening through me’
to be a tree
‘the trees outside the window weren’t just green and brown, they were purple round the edges, and orange, merging with the blue of the sky like a watercolour’
black fabric
‘am I here now because I’ve got anxiety or depression or I’m a bad adult that can’t cope with ‘real jobs’ or
am I here because, at the end of the day, I just simply like it?’
dating apps
“Maybe what retail does best is it shows you, often in just one day, the full range of the ups and downs a person can experience.”
the lost flat
“….For some reason today I wasn’t to be the lucky one. (The reality was that many, if not most, times in my life I had been the lucky one)….”
winter in whitstable
“….. fearing if I show him or them or it, what I need, there won’t be anything there for me, that my desire will manifest as a white expanse of nothingness with me in the centre…”
the butterfly and the dog
“….it is nice to think that maybe there are some forces, some beings, that are willing to reach back.”